Kevin — June 13, 2009, 12:37 am

Bike Update: Made it to Memphis

Ok! So my grand bike trip has begun. I’m currently at my Priceline negotiated hotel in Memphis and I’m too damned tired to go out! My ass hurts, my fingers feel like they’ve been jack-hammering all day. Touching my fingernails makes me cringe.

So here’s me, at the start, all excited about my cool bike. A cruiser! Designed for crusing, right? I mean, middle aged dads ride Cruisers. So they gotta be comfy, right?

start_bike

WRONG!

Man, these things suck! Unlike a sport bike, you sit way far back. The weight is all right where your ass meets the spine. The things shake like a freakin’ paint mixer – i guess that’s cool, or something, if you’re like 250 pounds? Well I think it sucks. They’re poorly engineered crappy shitheaps and I wish I had my freakin’ CBR. It’s WAY more comfortable!

The rain started about an hour in – i had to chase down a garbage bag which I wore under my jacket to fend off the rain (which wasn’t too bad, thankfully). Anyhow the idea of riding for 8-9 hours down to New Orleans now is making me cringe. I’m not a fan of this rental – it’s not “fun” to ride. These stupid cruisers are like… cars. You just “drive” them. You point them down the road and they just rumble and shake and bruise your ass it’s not at all exciting like my regular bike. They rev lower, they don’t feel…. tuned. They just feel like big shitty lawn mowers. Clunk clunk clunk. Not “vrooooom” or “Kah-wAAAAAAH!!!!” or anything cool like that. How the hell are these bikes so popular? I’d rather drive a convertible!

I’ll see how far I can go tomorrow, I may cut short and skip New Orleans. 9 hours on this thing will knock me out for three days.

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