Kevin — January 30, 2008, 10:15 pm

And For The Encore…

Well, the ol’ Sponge has seen a fair bit more traffic in the last three days than usual, that’s for sure. According to my Google Adsense tracker (which has better statistics than my hosting company, since “the sponge” is a subdomain of my main account so it has less detailed stats) I’ve had over 35,000 uniques in the past three days.

That’s… a whole lot of people. So.. uh… hello, I guess. I feel like I should say something important. Don’t steal music? Be nice to animals? I dunno. It’s not always this exciting around here, new viewers, if that’s what you’re wondering.

It’s funny, I came home after “the incident”, I explained to the owners of the house that I’m staying at what had happened and then asked if I could trouble them for the use of their washing machine. After learning about “the third rail”, I kind of just went upstairs, flipped open my Powerbook, and fired out my little report without really even bother to proof read it (as the ten-ish usual friends and family who check this blog now and then can attest, I NEVER proof read). Boy, I wish I had, because sections of my little story – grammatical mistakes and all – have been copied and pasted all over the place (much to the amusement of some Digg readers, who had a hearty chuckle at my inability to differentiate between “too” and “to”).

Anyhow, now that a few days have gone by, I’m remembering stuff that I got wrong in my first report; the first train (the one that would have mushed us both flat) came screaming into the terminal about 20 seconds after I got the lady on the platform and was working on stopping the bleeding (and I was so absorbed in the initial treatment i forgot about it). The maxi-pad lady came OFF that train (the same one that said “do you know CPR?”, which I find even more amusing now). Both the lady who fell and myself were standing near the far end of the platform – where the train FIRST pulls into the station, so there’s NO WAY the driver could have seen me and slowed down in time. It must have been the SECOND train came in really slow, and THAT driver leaned out to talk to me, and I asked him to call the paramedics – and I remember now that he nodded and said “they’re on the way”. So the maxi-pad lady must have told somebody at the station to call 911, and they in turn radioed the NEXT train, telling the driver to slow down as he entered the station because somebody was injured. When the cops arrived, they helped do crowd control for the THIRD train, at which point the paramedics arrived.

I remember coming out of the Union Square terminal after the incident and this girl was standing there with a sign that said “tell me who you are”, and there was another lady with a DV camera filming her. She asked me who I was (explaining it was for a documentary) and I said something like “I’m Kevin, I make cartoons, and I enjoy cocktails”. She said something surreal like “how do you know that’s who you are”, which I thought was a bit odd, so I just said “because that’s who I choose to be”. Then I went and just basically leaned against a park bench for about 30 seconds, took a few deeps breaths, and then thought to myself “I really should go explain why I’m covered in blood”. So I went back and said “hey, can I do that again? I’ve got a better story”. And I did it in a far more amusing fashion, I think, with the joke cracking and the goofy face and the “see this blood here?” shtick. I wonder if it’ll ever make it to air anywhere? I never signed a waiver or release, so I’m assuming it was a school project or something not for broadcast.

What a weird day. I’ve been so damned busy that I hadn’t really even replayed the whole thing over in my head until the bus ride home today.

Anyhow, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

So I got an apartment! It’s not the super awesome one, but it’s a nice one nonetheless. You know, a few posts ago (when nobody really came to this site) I basically told everyone where I was going to live. So yeah, now thirty thousand people are just a click away from figuring that out. So, I guess, if anyone is out there stalking me, I just drew them a map? I think the likelyhood of me having a stalker is pretty low, so I’m not terribly worried (in fact, I’d probably be flattered, and make a t-shirt that says “my stalker can beat up your stalker” or something).

So, yeah. I have a home. Well, sort of. Some wires got crossed and I don’t actually get to move in until the 5th or 6th (apparently in New York you don’t move out at the end of the month like the rest of the civilized world? Both the rental agent and the manager of the building looked at me like I was insane when I said “but he’s supposed to move at the end of the month! Everyone moves at the end of the month! What planet are you people from where you can just arbitrarily pick a moving day?”. Am I crazy? Isn’t it a universally understood rule that you move out by noon on the last day of the month, so the next person moving in can take YOUR old place at noon? Because THEY are moving out by noon, so someone can take THEIR place at noon; yadda yadda yadda. Right? Or is that some bizzare overly polite Canadian thing? You can’t just say “well, i’m busy, I’ll move on the 4th” because it screws up the whole god damned process! The whole freakin’ dance falls apart! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS CITY?!

Aaaaanyhow. To get a lease, I had to write three cashiers checks the total of which, if combined, could basically get me an entry level AUTOMOBILE. And I get to move on the 4th. Or the 5th, if I want the place painted.

Oh, and I’m supposed to bribe the superintendant of the building. They don’t tell you that in the travel books. When you move in, you apparently give the super MONEY so he’s more inclined to assist you in a speedy fashion when something breaks in your 100 year old building. And it WILL break, because it’s 100 years old. So I guess it’s like a preemptive tip? Nobody really explained how it’s done; it was just… implied. Twice. Do I just walk up and do the “oh, I think you dropped this” trick? Or is it more like the “what’s this behind your ear? A fifty dollar bill!” trick? I think I’ll just give him a nice bottle of wine and a Bert & Ernie card with “please won’t you be my Super” written inside, and lay some greenies in there too I guess. That should make it feel a little less blunt.

So there you go – Casa Del Gamble will (shortly) be open for business. Reservations are highly recommended and major credit cards are, sadly, not accepted.


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  1. Comment by Tankster @ January 31, 2008, 6:07 am

    OK, nice to see you haven’t become overly cynical – yet.
    Life seems to achieve a balance. Hope yours swings to the good stuff real soon.

  2. Comment by pyrofenix @ January 31, 2008, 7:23 am

    It’s nice to hear a GOOD story come out of New York City. I think too often the rest of the world just hears about the bad things that happen…the people that keep on walking as they see a woman get mugged, etc.

    Oh, you may not take CC but maybe you could require 25 ad clicks to get on the reservation book! 😉

  3. Comment by lizzielizzie @ January 31, 2008, 9:45 am

    “Because that’s who I choose to be.” That is a great answer. 🙂 Also, yay apartment!!! Drop me a line once you get settled in and we can figure out logistics for the party.

  4. Comment by bubby.oxide @ January 31, 2008, 10:23 am

    I think that 5th of the month thing has to do with NY City and not the U.S. in general. Congratulations on the apartment!

  5. Comment by 3downsrule @ January 31, 2008, 4:20 pm

    Enjoying the day to day excitement in the big apple! Be safe!

  6. Comment by lizzielizzie @ February 2, 2008, 12:36 pm

    If this is the place in the Village, I just managed to find the restaurants we hit last time we were in NYC. There’s Kyber Pass at 34 St. Mark’s Place. It’s Afghani food and amazing. Try the pomegranate chicken… melts in your mouth. There’s also Flor’s Kitchen, a Dominican place on Christopher St across from the Stonewall Inn. If you like ceviche (or have never tried it), they’re awesome.

  7. Comment by Cameron @ February 3, 2008, 10:56 pm

    35,000 unique hits and what, one GOOGLE AD click? (That would’ve been me.)

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