Kevin — June 1, 2007, 12:37 am

The Governator comes to town!

So I don’t know exactly how, but I got mailed an invite for Governor Schwarzenegger’s “California Style, California Innovation” reception in Stanley Park on Thursday! Me! How? I dunno. It came to my work so I guess I’m on some list somewhere! Perhaps I amused some socialite at a previous function and as such I’m on the “local color” list, or something. Whatever! So this is my invite:

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So what the hell, “California Innovation”? Sounds suspiciously like “Come drinks some free California Wine” to me! So count me in!

The reception was at Stanley Park in one of the halls on Pipeline Road (I had to google the address, I’ve always just called it “the road to the Aquarium”. All done up nice; they had a ton of great Californian cuisine and nibblies, along with a full bar – so I enjoyed some festive Californian margaritas.

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There were lots of dudes in suits.

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…like, EVERYONE was in a suit. Except me. Surprise.

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Anyhow, they decorated the garden with California citrus. Because they have oranges in California, apparently, and like to rub it in. Perhaps we could trade them some hobos from Main & Hastings for a truckload of Oranges!

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Anyhow the Govenor spoke after some drip sang a couple lame-ass lovesongs (Kurk someone? Apparently he’s some big singer but I just thought he was a boring dork). He talked about how important the environment is, how he’s excited to be doing stem cell research with Canada (which is awesome, because Bush thinks Stem Cells are evil, so Arnold is just “yeah, screw you, I’ll go do it with Canada). He also talked about and how important trade between BC and California is, and how great our Premier was, and how he’s looking forward to the future, and blah blah blah.
It’s funny, while this is going on, I’m looking around – people around me are all smiling. The speech isn’t anything great… and it’s not that they’re seeing the Govenor of California. People are smiling because it’s the fucking TERMINATOR is giving a speech. It’s the guy who blew up the PREDATOR is on the stage talking about environmentally friendly housing! IT’S ARNOLD! Like, the bartenders even stopped serving and just started taking photos with their phones. It’s amusing.

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People love the guy. Seriously, Actors are the best politions. Who wouldn’t vote for Martin Sheen for President? I’ve seen him run the oval office. He’s great. His dialogue is always so sharp and he’s so well lit!
Anyhow, Arnold says “I’m going away for a bit, but… I’LL BE BACK!” and then he’s whisked away to dinner with Campbell for Dinner.

Here he is, with the Premier!

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Sam Sullivan puttered along as well, I think he ran over a homeless man as he was making his way to the motorcade (I think he muttered something about getting these “damned hobos” out of town before the olympics, but it was hard to hear over the mariachi band).

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Oh, and we had all the cops there, obviously. The horses look cool, but man, after the cars leave and the horses walk off, there is literally TWENTY LITERS or horse shit sitting there on the ground. Yeah, horses are nice and all that, but at least Police Bikes don’t crap all over the street. Is there a special squad who clean that up or does it just sort of sit there until it rains?
Then I had some more free drinks, found, like, 2 people I knew, ate as much free food as I could stuff down my throat, then left. Awesome time!

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California ADVENTURE!

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