Kevin — March 27, 2007, 2:06 am

The BlackBerry sucks.

Experiment terminated. I will wait for the iPhone, because this thing is t3h suxx0rz. The interface is clunky and Soviet. The Treo is leaps and bounds beyond this hunk of French Canadian crap, and the iPhone is going to take it’s ass to the curb and stomp it’s garbage user interface teeth out. No wonder they got sued; it wasn’t for stealing technology, it was for designing a product with absolutely no style what so ever.

Pick it up now on Craigslist while you can!

If I can’t find a Treo I’ll just go back to my crappy old Nokia and get a Palm Pilot to hold me over until the iPhone comes out. Christ, seriously, it takes like seven clicks to send a fucking SMS. Honestly. I’ll post a movie. Here’s the steps:

1: unlock it by clicking the side button, which you inevitably push too many times and lock the unit again. Because a simple “unlock” button would have been too simple. Oh, and when it’s ringing in your pants pocket? Guess what button terminates the call? apparently ALL OF THEM, because whenever it rings, I grab the thing and the call goes away. Unless you wear the dorky belt clip, which for some reason looks fine with a suit but with pair of jeans, you look like a fucking toolbox.

2: go to the “mailbox”. Because that’s where your SMS messages are. Along with all the other fucking messages. Got a SMS? Pretty important, right? No, too late, it’s already down at the bottom of the list because all your latest emails came in and slid it down.

3: Click “compose SMS” using the stupd clickwheel. A field pops up saying “SMS:” and you type the person’s name.

4. Ok, so I typed “Wally Nutbags”. I click. Guess what it says? “SMS Wally Nutbags?”. It’s ASKING ME if I want to do the thing I just TOLD IT I WANTED TO DO. “Hey TV, I want to change the volume”. TV: “You want to change the volume?”. No, actually, on second thought, I’m glad you asked. I’d actually like for you to make me some popcorn. OF COURSE I WANT TO SEND A FUCKING SMS. I JUST TOLD YOU “SEND AN SMS”.

5. Ok, so I’ve re-inforced to the BlackBerry that I indeed do want to send an SMS which, even though I literally seconds ago told it to that, it wants to make sure. Ok. Fine. NOW:

6: Wally Nutbag has a couple of numbers; home, work, fax, mobile. “Which number do you want to SMS”? Really. Well. Let me think about it. Yes, thanks for asking, I’d like to send his FAX MACHINE a text message. Ready? Here’s the message. Krrzzzrssh! kpfrrsssshh. kapeeeerrgh, sisshprrrrraaarrrghhh. Got that? Oh, wait, that won’t work, because the ONLY DEVICE THAT CAN RECEIVE A TEXT MESSAGE IS ANOTHER FUCKING MOBILE PHONE! Why even ask what number to send it too! ARRRGGGHH!!!!

Six fucking clicks and I finally get to send a text message.
RIM, you SUCK!


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  1. Comment by Cameron @ March 27, 2007, 9:10 pm

    If it’s that bad, why are they so popular?

  2. Comment by colinbeadle @ March 28, 2007, 8:46 am

    This is one of your best posts yet Gamble. I’m still laughing even as I type this message.

    HA !

    your pal,

  3. Comment by erinlee @ April 2, 2007, 3:55 pm

    What cell phone company are you with? If you are with Bell, I can hook you up with a Treo.

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