Kevin — March 29, 2010, 12:34 am

The Greatest Show in the History of the Universe

I’ve watched opera at the Met from a private box. I’ve seen modern dance performed by masters of the craft and gazed at masterpieces in the Louvre crafted hundreds of years ago by men of unparalleled talent.

All of those things SUCK compared to the NUCLEAR COWBOYZ. You know why? Because they have EXPLOSIONS AND FIRE AND MOTORCYCLES AND PRETTY GIRLS DANCING all wrapped around a fantastically crazy post apocolypic story that made NO SENSE but NOBODY CARES because the main focus is MOTORBIKE STUNTS THAT ARE SO RAD YOU WON’T BELIEVE YOUR EYES!!

WHOOOOOOO!!!!!

bikers_lineup

I’ve seen Motorcross events before, where a bunch of dudes run around a dirt track and do a bunch of jumps. I remember it being some sort of race, which I (at the ripe age of nine) thought was stupid because I didn’t really care who won because I didn’t know anyone and all I wanted to see were super rad jumps. It was like this forced “sport” that they had to come up with to have an excuse for guys to do big jumps on motorcross bikes. Well, somebody listened! They threw out the nobody cares race component, added EXPLOSIONS, kickass music, and crazy lights! If I was nine NOW, and saw this show, my fucking HEAD would explode!

bikers_sidexside

These guys are AMAZING. They leap, god, I don’t know, 100 feet in the air? Then they do the most insane things while they’re sitting there, floating. They stand on the handlebars, grab the back seat, flip 360 degrees backwards.

biker_solo2

Sometimes there are like 5 bikes in the air at once and you don’t even know where too look there is so much awesomeness. If one guys wiped out (and nobody did) there’d be a guy landing on his head – one takes off, the other is in mid air, and a third guy is landing, all at the same time. It’s bananas!

bikers_everywhere2

This guy rode an ATV.

ATV_rider

He would hop off his quad and just flip himself all over the place while in the air. At one point he went UPSIDE DOWN. Like, a complete flip. BACKWARDS. ON AN ATV!! How the hell do you even do that?!

ATV_inverted

Totally awesome. I am now an official superfan of the Nuclear Cowboyz! If at all possible, go see these guys, they’re astounding. Plus there’s pretty girls dancing on… erm… vertical modern dance assist platform mechanisms. Because there were two motorbike tribes that were feuding, or something. I don’t know. It didn’t make much sense.

dancers_poles

What?? C’mon, those aren’t STRIPPER POLES, clearly. They have little.. footpegs. These poles are totally different. This is a classy show. Get your mind out of the gutter. Here, look at more awesome motorbike stunts.

biker_air_solo1

SO totally awesome. A few shots posted here. I had to ramp the ISO up to 6400 to shoot these at a shutter speed of 1/300th because my crappy lens is so slow. I need one of those fancy CorsiWorld lenses!

AWESOME night out. Go see these guys if you can. They are bananas. I know I said “awesome” and “bananas” like ten times in this post but I don’t care. It’s awesome and bananas!

B-A-N-A-N-A-S ! ! ! !

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